poetomachia

Each man comforted by a portable god
Each man walking into a hurricane
Each man viable,
Standing

Vapid and victorious
Mid-club hunkered-down
Arranging, replacing, looping a presence
Throwing dice
Snatching their own bodies

Each man comforted by a portable god
Each man walking bald-faced
Upbeat, undeterred
Joining hands on stage

Each man sporting
A portable god

He reaches out sideways
Tries so hard for one so noble
Unnoticed
Unfazed
Patient, proud, high, mighty
Hopeful and fatherly
From a distance ever near
You see his shape
Substantial
His imprint
Kind, Terrible
Moving slowly
Going away only to come back again
As dependable, as important, as your next breath
Unnoticed

Gliding through the vapors hovering about the earth
Cresting on sight of the curve
I breathe in silently
Like a shark in the water
Choosing my path and changing my mind with a bend and a twist
I knock at your front door
It is you I choose
I smile and wait for your answer
Ready to glide off again
At the slightest hesitation

Wherever I go
The Fires follow
Are they taunting me
Or stalking me?
What is their business?

I have become strange to myself
And the wind treats me like an alien
Cooling me only if it must
Baking me when it can spare
Heat from my desert

I look down, and I see the ant.
He seems to pause in recognition.
But he is only rearranging his load
Without thinking
He is automatic

And so it goes
As the continents float by
With plans for the distant future
While I am called to the present
To make amends
And batten down
My trouble

I worked myself
TO THE BONE
They sunk their teeth
TO THE BONE
My fortune teller threw the
DICE AND BONE
She said there’s nothing left
BETWEEN MY SKIN AND BONE
I turned away from this madness
AND GOT RATTLED TO THE BONE
Bone
Bone
My life is on loan
Bone

how bout getting off these antibiotics
how bout stopping eating when I’m full up
how bout them transparent dangling carrots
how bout that ever elusive kudo

thank you india
thank you terror
thank you disillusionment
thank you frailty
thank you consequence
thank you thank you silence

how bout me not blaming you for everything
how bout me enjoying the moment for once
how bout how good it feels to finally forgive you
how bout grieving it all one at a time

thank you india
thank you terror
thank you disillusionment
thank you frailty
thank you consequence
thank you thank you silence

the moment I let go of it was the moment
I got more than I could handle
the moment I jumped off of it
was the moment I touched down

how bout no longer being masochistic
how bout remembering your divinity
how bout unabashedly bawling your eyes out
how bout not equating death with stopping

thank you india
thank you providence
thank you disillusionment
thank you nothingness
thank you clarity
thank you thank you silence

When you have nothing to prove
Just a place to get to
You don’t fit in the gears
You are running off the trail
Looking strange in the fog

One two three
They count you down
You bob in their distance
You are quite near to yourself
Knowing they can’t comprehend

Alone on Friday
Sitting, panting like a dog
Life sleeps

Phone Quiet
Email Dead
Advertisers stupid on line

Wondering what’s at the end of unwind
Have to pee
Only obligation
Love sleeps
Excitement weeps
Duty whines
in the corner

I am right that
You are wrong

I will not touch my toe to your pond
I dare you to swim in my terrible sea

Like two rocks that flutter down
We freeze together

Blank on blank
Like space between sand
Like nothing in my hand

Blank on blank
I walk to the fire
Black hole pull

I enter the perimeter
Voices now behind
Thinking nothing of my pursuits
I am not there

Desperate to discard
Everything that jams
Everything that builds
What must be destroyed
Everything

A voice encourages

“Sell everything,
Don’t haggle
Don’t wait. . .
GO TO THE DESERT”
I fall in.