Sheet of Hate
asleep beneath this sheet of hate
sometimes I like to pretend that it’s too late
just because it is white
don’t make it right
I turn my ankle and see the sky you paint
and damn me if it isn’t enough to turn this sinner into a saint
and then I hear you say that condemning me you ain’t
so in your presence I will do more than faint
either way I will end upon my face
and you hung yourself between earth and space
for me and this sick and twisted race
whom is bent with the desire to debase
Mattwricks,
I really like the bed and sky images. For me, this poem would have been more impactful if you had stopped it at “saint”!
Wow, I think this is my first criticism. Was it helpful, or do I come off as an ass. . . be honest now!?
Comment by Sunsun — 18 May 2008 @ 3:45 pm
Probably apt criticism. I think the second half is spill
over which I was in need of expressing after such a heavy
first stanza. It probably could stand on its own in some
bridge…
Comment by MattWriks — 19 May 2008 @ 3:36 am