poetomachia

Blank on blank
Like space between sand
Like nothing in my hand

Blank on blank
I walk to the fire
Black hole pull

I enter the perimeter
Voices now behind
Thinking nothing of my pursuits
I am not there

Desperate to discard
Everything that jams
Everything that builds
What must be destroyed
Everything

A voice encourages

“Sell everything,
Don’t haggle
Don’t wait. . .
GO TO THE DESERT”
I fall in.

Ev’ry night, wrap me in your arms
To be held close, oh to be
I only want you to hold me tight
And won’t you call me baby

Rather be a son, balm of my soul
You are my heartbeat, make me whole
I can’t breathe without you, surely drown
Not by my own strength, s’rrender s’rround

i was alone, i killed my clone
i learned to play the xylophone
but i was bored with modern chords
and so today, i sent away
i sent away
i sent away
i sent away

so be a doll, try not to call
and after all, i’m m.i.a.
i sent away

there came a day, i cursed the day
i cursed the day, i sent away
i sent away
i sent away
i sent away

asleep beneath this sheet of hate
sometimes I like to pretend that it’s too late
just because it is white
don’t make it right

I turn my ankle and see the sky you paint
and damn me if it isn’t enough to turn this sinner into a saint
and then I hear you say that condemning me you ain’t
so in your presence I will do more than faint
either way I will end upon my face
and you hung yourself between earth and space
for me and this sick and twisted race
whom is bent with the desire to debase

Blank pages Blank moments
Empty spaces my desert
My loneliness
fasting to slow down and leave space
Am I open?
Am I staying open?
Can I wait in the void?
Patience definition:
letting empty time be filled with nothing
more than good attitude
Giving my all means there is nothing left
Can I go to this place? Regularly.
Empty myself.
So much time spent avoiding the void.
Asking for filling but not giving much space.
Not just the spaces filled by sin
But anything which has held distraction.

Blink pages Blink moments
No spaces popular desert
Walk right into the center
Dwell in the gravity well
Find the suckiness of the black hole
Sell everything.
Audibly heard “Go to the desert.”
I’m finally at the edge
There’s so much sand.
Where’s the water?

I know you feel like
a highway to the sky
will help you get it right
will make your eyes catch fire
I know you want more
than you can ever have
a diamond in the sand
someone to hold your hand

and so you go down
kneeling by the shore
because you need another dose
something strong to fill your hole
and when you gaze up
and reach out in the night
and your trembling inside
then your water turns to wine

it’s there when you rise
there when you rise

I’m dodging your draft
I’m drafting your dodge
I will close my eyes
And everything will melt downhill
Leaving me standing
Like a redwood after a quake
Barely shaken, and grateful for the breeze

Like sutures, cruel in their pulling, mend
And boxer, set in bloody battle, contend
Is the violence of suffering healing
And the tangible crush of really feeling

The Father does not hinder
The climb out of misery
The beholding of beauty
The permeation of joy

Just a snippet:

You share but money can’t give
What the truth takes away
Throw it away

Takes away all the pretense. Powerful.